Longing
by Bloosy
Summary: Elphaba wakes after a dream, and realised how much she can't have. Implied gelphieness XD.


_She could see everything. Each strand of blond hair glinting in a unknown white light. Her eyes were as clear and free as water in a stream, twinkling with a million earth bound stars. And they were so close, it was unreal. She had been here before, she knew it. They revolved around each other, two swans, dancing, waltzing as one. And then the gap was closed – Oh, her lips were so soft. It was so comforting, it was wonderful. And again, they brought together their warmth, and her heart could leap to an unimaginable hight. In that moment her life stopped, and was replaced with the one thing she had longed for, wanted, needed, for her whole life – Love._

Elphaba turned over. Her brain told her to wake up, but her emotions tried to hold on to that feeling, the acceptance she realised she would only feel this once. The sheets rubbed against her chin, and she knew she had to return to reality. Yet, she had to make the most of this, so she didn't open her eyes. She went through the images and feelings burned into her mind, so close. The softness, the warmth, the security, the wetness; it felt too _real_ to be a dream.

And there was the day, peeking through the curtains; now she knew it was a dream. The warm happiness that was filling her up faded, and a heaviness wrapped around her. What a great start to the day - ruined before it even began.

She lay there for a little while more, consciously trying to hold on to it all. She wanted to remember the feeling.

No, she had to get up – no point in wallowing for things that are never going to happen. Pushing it all aside, Elphaba got to her feet, blinking in the sunlight, and looked over at the subject of her dream, golden locks sprawled across the pillow, twinking in the bright light of the morning- it just wasn't fair.

Everything was just as she had left it the night before – a mess. Tiredness made her lazy, and her dreams more vivid. Although Elphaba was organized, it was more of a chaotic organisation. She knew where everything was – but no one else did.

Grabbing clothes and a towel from underneath a pile of papers, she padded down the hall to the communal bathrooms. She may be rooming with Galinda, the girl from Pertha hills, but there were far more wealthy and powerful people around, so they just had to make do. It was embarrassing though, to watch the girls stare as she took her oil bottles from her locker. They had no idea.

It was always soothing to wash. The routine took away the thoughts that plagued her mind, gave her something to focus on. She felt cleansed, physically and emotionally, after. And it was a relief to be away from Galinda. Though she had become far more comfortable around her since they had become friends, it was still awkward. Elphaba never wanted to talk about herself, for fear of being boring, but didn't want to probe into Galinda's life either. It made for stunted conversation, but at least that was better than the hysterical mumblings of Elphaba at the beginning of the year. How did she know she was crushing on Galinda?

She thought something was wrong with her – to act like that around a girl. She tried to cover it up, pretending to be engrossed in a book, or something else that was far more important than talking to Galinda. But as the weeks passed, she found out about sexuality. She had never given much thought to who she might be attracted to, she always assumed it was men, since that was what the women in her youth talked about. But overhearing a conversation about crushes, what it felt like, what happened – the heat, the flushing, the inability to think – she realised. Never having thought about guys that way, she realised she'd fallen for, of all people, Galinda. And there was nothing she could do about it.

But it came with a price – She could never tell Galinda, hint to her, or otherwise talk to her about the people they liked. They could never share their secrets about love, because Elphaba knew she would give something away. And if she did tell, well, Galinda would be disgusted, obviously. She would demand to be roomed with someone that wasn't... unnatural. Elphaba would be outcast even more, and she would lose the only friend she had ever had. And that just wasn't worth the risk.


End file.
